It's funny when one little image makes you realize how lame you are.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Experiment Results: Friends with jobs make you spend more money
I'm usually a rather spendthrift sort of person; I don't blow cash on clothes, make-up, coffee or any other such indulgences. As a vegetarian who likes to cook, I've also come to see myself as pretty free from the vices of junk food.
To track just how saintly my spending is, I made a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet and since February 16th have been recording every single purchase I make.
The results were shocking.
By the end of two weeks, I had spent over $90 on junk food, pizza, alcohol and other empty calories. That's one-and-a-half times more than my grocery bill. How the hell did this happen? Perhaps unsurprisingly, I had a little help from my friends; half of those expenses were on the weekends.
I know the internet just erupted in a resounding, "DUH YOU IGNORAMUS! NO WONDER THE WORLD'S GOING TO PIECES--KIDS HAVE NO FORESIGHT!". But this is a revelation for me because my life before I turned 21 was nothing like this. Weekend fun used to be free movies on campus and a burrito. Now that everyone in our group is gainfully employed, they can live it up. Except me.
I love my friends and not for a moment do I want to feel left out, but I simply cannot afford to keep up with their partying lifestyles. I'm not earning any money right now and most worrying of all is that I don't have any plans to make money after I graduate in a few months. I've never felt more "behind" in my life.
One of my resolutions this year is to stay positive and to only dwell on depressing thoughts when they can lead to a productive outcome. So it seems to me that I need to decide right now how important making and spending money is going to be to me now and in the next few years when I have virtually no career path ahead of me at the moment. Now, I realize that having enough money to get me though the giddy party stage of my early 20's is not a worthwhile financial goal. But I'm asking myself with more urgency than ever before, "But then, what is?"
I think the main thing to keep in mind is that I need to be thinking about couple things right now; what I want to do to earn money after this semester, what career I want that job to help propel me toward, and what difference I want to make over the course of my lifetime. There are certain comforts of bourgeois life that I want both now and in the future. I just need to be careful and mindful to not turn those comforts into trappings. Comforts become trappings when you need them for status, friends and happiness. I'll need them as tools to move forward with my ideals.
Have you done similar experiments with expenses? What are your financial goals anyhow? Are there any that would be particularly helpful to have as a 20-something?
To track just how saintly my spending is, I made a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet and since February 16th have been recording every single purchase I make.
The results were shocking.
By the end of two weeks, I had spent over $90 on junk food, pizza, alcohol and other empty calories. That's one-and-a-half times more than my grocery bill. How the hell did this happen? Perhaps unsurprisingly, I had a little help from my friends; half of those expenses were on the weekends.
I know the internet just erupted in a resounding, "DUH YOU IGNORAMUS! NO WONDER THE WORLD'S GOING TO PIECES--KIDS HAVE NO FORESIGHT!". But this is a revelation for me because my life before I turned 21 was nothing like this. Weekend fun used to be free movies on campus and a burrito. Now that everyone in our group is gainfully employed, they can live it up. Except me.
I love my friends and not for a moment do I want to feel left out, but I simply cannot afford to keep up with their partying lifestyles. I'm not earning any money right now and most worrying of all is that I don't have any plans to make money after I graduate in a few months. I've never felt more "behind" in my life.
One of my resolutions this year is to stay positive and to only dwell on depressing thoughts when they can lead to a productive outcome. So it seems to me that I need to decide right now how important making and spending money is going to be to me now and in the next few years when I have virtually no career path ahead of me at the moment. Now, I realize that having enough money to get me though the giddy party stage of my early 20's is not a worthwhile financial goal. But I'm asking myself with more urgency than ever before, "But then, what is?"
I think the main thing to keep in mind is that I need to be thinking about couple things right now; what I want to do to earn money after this semester, what career I want that job to help propel me toward, and what difference I want to make over the course of my lifetime. There are certain comforts of bourgeois life that I want both now and in the future. I just need to be careful and mindful to not turn those comforts into trappings. Comforts become trappings when you need them for status, friends and happiness. I'll need them as tools to move forward with my ideals.
Have you done similar experiments with expenses? What are your financial goals anyhow? Are there any that would be particularly helpful to have as a 20-something?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Women in the Middle East revolutions
Check out this fantastic time-lapse video of artist Jessica Sabogal's tribute to the revolution in Egypt.
I dont' consider myself an art critic, but I am a Journalism and Global Studies double major. This means that I have a bag of tools for critical analysis that I probably will never be able to use profitably...so to show my degree was worth the cash I have to dump any related epiphanies on my blog :)
But seriously, I thought a couple things about the painting were significant and helped me think of the whole "revolution" differently.
1. The subject is a woman, and that too a *de-glamorized* one.
2. Women have traditionally been invisible, marginal voices in revolutions (focus is usually on male violence), but in the revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya, women are figuring very significantly. The subject of the painting here is probably not meant to be seen as an onlooker or the subject of regime change. Though she *is* depicted in the act of reacting, the artist chose to focus on women as agents of change.
This is a long but very insightful Al Jazeera interview on the role of Arab women in the recent democratic revolutions. My professor sent it to me so I think you will find it well worth your time.
3. The style is graffiti-inspired. Seems like a pretty direct interpretation of Egypt's revolution as a bottom-up movement.
4. The painting isn't necessarily triumphant. In theAl Jazeera interview above there is a discussion about how Arab women don't share a homogeneous view on the priorities for or purpose of democratic change.The painting depicts shock, which can be either good or bad. Political revolutions are, above all, shocking and always inspire counter revolutions. I like this painting because it isn't just a snapshot in time...it signifies the whole process--both the revolution and the counter revolution.
I dont' consider myself an art critic, but I am a Journalism and Global Studies double major. This means that I have a bag of tools for critical analysis that I probably will never be able to use profitably...so to show my degree was worth the cash I have to dump any related epiphanies on my blog :)
But seriously, I thought a couple things about the painting were significant and helped me think of the whole "revolution" differently.
1. The subject is a woman, and that too a *de-glamorized* one.
2. Women have traditionally been invisible, marginal voices in revolutions (focus is usually on male violence), but in the revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya, women are figuring very significantly. The subject of the painting here is probably not meant to be seen as an onlooker or the subject of regime change. Though she *is* depicted in the act of reacting, the artist chose to focus on women as agents of change.
This is a long but very insightful Al Jazeera interview on the role of Arab women in the recent democratic revolutions. My professor sent it to me so I think you will find it well worth your time.
3. The style is graffiti-inspired. Seems like a pretty direct interpretation of Egypt's revolution as a bottom-up movement.
4. The painting isn't necessarily triumphant. In theAl Jazeera interview above there is a discussion about how Arab women don't share a homogeneous view on the priorities for or purpose of democratic change.The painting depicts shock, which can be either good or bad. Political revolutions are, above all, shocking and always inspire counter revolutions. I like this painting because it isn't just a snapshot in time...it signifies the whole process--both the revolution and the counter revolution.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The discipline of being
Given to act only when I have that urgent visceral compulsion to meet a deadline, I don't consider myself a hard worker. I'm laid back and don't really stress myself unless and until I REALLY need to.
As a college senior with two majors and occasionally a job, this is problematic.
I'm starting to realize that it takes a habit of discipline to accomplish anything, be it homework or a blog post. I'm letting deadlines, assignments, and other opportunities to improve and prove myself to the job market slip through my fingers. This ain't good, folks.
So I present to you, imaginary reader, my plan for task management and self discipline. Both are important and related in my quest for greatness. I don't think it's necessary to schedule every hour of the day, but proper planning can take you a long way.
1.) Prioritize
Some brilliant soul came up with this great hierarchy to prioritize tasks.
a.) Deadline is soon and importance high
b.) Importance is low but deadline is soon
c.) Importance is high but deadline is later
d.) Importance low and deadline is later
2.) Deadlines
I've also resolved to set deadlines FOR EVERYTHING. And to never miss one. Ever. In practice, this will be difficult, but life is too short to push back deadlines...because that just makes you push back other deadlines.
3.) Involving friends
This undertaking is something I cannot do alone. I will need friends to help keep me accountable. That's why I have this blog. I'm finding that I take goals more seriously when I share them with other people because the next time I see them they'll be like, "Oh, did you finally apply for/do/kick ass in____?" And it makes for an awkward situation when I say "no," especially when the other person is someone I particularly care to leave a good impression with.
I'm going to have to track my progress with homework and personal deadlines, and not every checklist will make for an interesting blog. So I'll keep a task manager for me to look at personally and share my progress maybe every couple of weeks. I know I don't have any readers here yet, but when I do, won't you please share some task management tips with me?
Yes, *rubs hands* this shall come along nicely.
As a college senior with two majors and occasionally a job, this is problematic.
I'm starting to realize that it takes a habit of discipline to accomplish anything, be it homework or a blog post. I'm letting deadlines, assignments, and other opportunities to improve and prove myself to the job market slip through my fingers. This ain't good, folks.
So I present to you, imaginary reader, my plan for task management and self discipline. Both are important and related in my quest for greatness. I don't think it's necessary to schedule every hour of the day, but proper planning can take you a long way.
1.) Prioritize
Some brilliant soul came up with this great hierarchy to prioritize tasks.
a.) Deadline is soon and importance high
b.) Importance is low but deadline is soon
c.) Importance is high but deadline is later
d.) Importance low and deadline is later
2.) Deadlines
I've also resolved to set deadlines FOR EVERYTHING. And to never miss one. Ever. In practice, this will be difficult, but life is too short to push back deadlines...because that just makes you push back other deadlines.
3.) Involving friends
This undertaking is something I cannot do alone. I will need friends to help keep me accountable. That's why I have this blog. I'm finding that I take goals more seriously when I share them with other people because the next time I see them they'll be like, "Oh, did you finally apply for/do/kick ass in____?" And it makes for an awkward situation when I say "no," especially when the other person is someone I particularly care to leave a good impression with.
I'm going to have to track my progress with homework and personal deadlines, and not every checklist will make for an interesting blog. So I'll keep a task manager for me to look at personally and share my progress maybe every couple of weeks. I know I don't have any readers here yet, but when I do, won't you please share some task management tips with me?
Yes, *rubs hands* this shall come along nicely.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Worst thing ever: Blowing off a date
Maybe some people get through life without ever causing anyone (apart from their parents) serious inconvenience or disappointment. But I think it's safe to say that most don't. I have tried very hard to be in the first category, but as a one-term president of a student group and perpetual single lady, I have "failed" countless times. I just wish there were a funny picture with a netspeak caption for each time.
Yes, put simply, I suck as much as the most disappointing person you know.
With each failure I tell myself that I can sink no further. But the very next time I'm given the chance to screw up, I do! So I fear that the world will stop giving me chances to find success in love or what have you. Especially if I've done something particularly egregious.
Remember how excited I was about online dating in my last post? Well, today I blew off one of those prospectives. This particular creature was one I was looking forward to seeing all week; he's a witty cartoonist whom I've spent considerable time creeping on the internet.
I slept through my alarm and missed our coffee date by 5 hours. I checked my phone and saw he texted me, "So, about coffee. I'm assuming you didn't mean 8 in the morning..."
I nearly died.
I'm trying to deal with the situation by leaving him super apologetic texts and an IM. I would have called him, but it was 2AM. I'll call him during the day when there's a better chance he'll answer his phone. I just hope he forgives me.
I really want to reschedule, but it's possible that he won't want to spend time on me ever again. For that I'm somewhat thankful that we don't have mutual contacts and that we never actually met before, but it doesn't override the immense regret I feel for standing him up. Gaahhh. I guess there will be another chance with another boy. But dang.
Keep moving forward, I guess.
UPDATE:
He was really nice about it and we went out again the following week! Of course, I paid for his drink :)
Yes, put simply, I suck as much as the most disappointing person you know.
With each failure I tell myself that I can sink no further. But the very next time I'm given the chance to screw up, I do! So I fear that the world will stop giving me chances to find success in love or what have you. Especially if I've done something particularly egregious.
Remember how excited I was about online dating in my last post? Well, today I blew off one of those prospectives. This particular creature was one I was looking forward to seeing all week; he's a witty cartoonist whom I've spent considerable time creeping on the internet.
I slept through my alarm and missed our coffee date by 5 hours. I checked my phone and saw he texted me, "So, about coffee. I'm assuming you didn't mean 8 in the morning..."
I nearly died.
I'm trying to deal with the situation by leaving him super apologetic texts and an IM. I would have called him, but it was 2AM. I'll call him during the day when there's a better chance he'll answer his phone. I just hope he forgives me.
I really want to reschedule, but it's possible that he won't want to spend time on me ever again. For that I'm somewhat thankful that we don't have mutual contacts and that we never actually met before, but it doesn't override the immense regret I feel for standing him up. Gaahhh. I guess there will be another chance with another boy. But dang.
Keep moving forward, I guess.
UPDATE:
He was really nice about it and we went out again the following week! Of course, I paid for his drink :)
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Online Dating and Desi Rappers
I'm doing it! Online dating with sincerity!
I'm on OkCupid.com and so far have played psychiatrist to most of my admirers. They've ranged from horny 40 year-olds to eccentric 20-somethings with lots of baggage--one had a kid and a pending divorce AND a dying mom. yikes. I'm not really finding anyone I'm interested in, though...
Ok, there was one--an adorable half-desi geologist with beautiful eyes. But he won't message me back. I'm not used to dealing with blatantly uninterested men anymore, so I take rejection a lot more harshly than I probably should. At the same time, I feel like the impetus to be more critical might help me be a better person overall. *Sigh* One date, you silly boy, one date!
Oooh, I'm REALLY digging this song by Humble the Poet. I'm not one to fan the forest fire of Punjabi pride, but the sweet hook and anti-partition message has me feeling super bad-ass and political. He seems to be rapping about how he hates being fitted with the blanket classification of "Indian" given the fact that he culturally identifies with people on both sides of the Indo-Pak border. I can get behind his frustrations with that identity also because even Punjab-centric Bollywood tends to marginalize Sikhs. Still, I hate how narrow-minded regional pride can feel.
I'm on OkCupid.com and so far have played psychiatrist to most of my admirers. They've ranged from horny 40 year-olds to eccentric 20-somethings with lots of baggage--one had a kid and a pending divorce AND a dying mom. yikes. I'm not really finding anyone I'm interested in, though...
Ok, there was one--an adorable half-desi geologist with beautiful eyes. But he won't message me back. I'm not used to dealing with blatantly uninterested men anymore, so I take rejection a lot more harshly than I probably should. At the same time, I feel like the impetus to be more critical might help me be a better person overall. *Sigh* One date, you silly boy, one date!
Oooh, I'm REALLY digging this song by Humble the Poet. I'm not one to fan the forest fire of Punjabi pride, but the sweet hook and anti-partition message has me feeling super bad-ass and political. He seems to be rapping about how he hates being fitted with the blanket classification of "Indian" given the fact that he culturally identifies with people on both sides of the Indo-Pak border. I can get behind his frustrations with that identity also because even Punjab-centric Bollywood tends to marginalize Sikhs. Still, I hate how narrow-minded regional pride can feel.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Ever feel short of "awesome"?
I try to keep deeply personal topics off blogs, but I so yearn to connect with other people who feel this way that I'll post regardless.
My problem: I'm really really shy about saying or doing anything stupid. I'm scared to the point where I don't want to publish any of my writing and tend to shy away from criticism whenever I might get it meaningfully. I'm not super shy--I speak out in at least one of my classes once a day--but I can grow so much more if I become more open with the world. My inhibitions are what I resent the most when I look at my present situation and wonder what I should have done differently along the way to be cooler, smarter, more popular, on the better track to 'success,' whatever that is.
Perhaps this stems from not being comfortable with myself. I've struggled to believe anyone could appreciate me as a friend, girlfriend, student, anything. I didn't apply to any schools outside Minnesota because I doubted myself. I didn't try harder in school because I was afraid of looking like I 'tried too hard.' I wanted to show everyone I was one of those genius kids who excel effortlessly.
Now, I'm starting to realize there is no genius without willing effort somewhere along the way. I struggle with finding the niche where effort isn't an obstacle--just the stepping stone to excelling in something I love.
Maybe I'm trying to be someone I'm not. Maybe I'll never be independently wealthy, change someone's life... Maybe I should give up.
Or do I try harder? Do I bust my ass EVERY TIME to get an A on every assignment? Suppress my sloth? There's always a moment where I give up and say "eh, fuck it. turn it in half-finished. Stop studying." Is that the moment where I have another 20% left to go?
They say happiness lies within. I can't get anywhere without knowing that I'll be fine, okay, wonderful, as perfect as I need to be no matter what. I hate sticking my neck out because I've been burned so many times. I know in my mind that people have loved and continue to love me. I just don't feel it with my heart. I can't touch their love. Their love is just words and assurances that hang in the air. That makes stronger case for finding inner happiness on my own.
I want to be open. I want to learn and grow and get the hell out of Minnesota. I want to conquer the world, find my passions and live.
I have no idea where to start.
My problem: I'm really really shy about saying or doing anything stupid. I'm scared to the point where I don't want to publish any of my writing and tend to shy away from criticism whenever I might get it meaningfully. I'm not super shy--I speak out in at least one of my classes once a day--but I can grow so much more if I become more open with the world. My inhibitions are what I resent the most when I look at my present situation and wonder what I should have done differently along the way to be cooler, smarter, more popular, on the better track to 'success,' whatever that is.
Perhaps this stems from not being comfortable with myself. I've struggled to believe anyone could appreciate me as a friend, girlfriend, student, anything. I didn't apply to any schools outside Minnesota because I doubted myself. I didn't try harder in school because I was afraid of looking like I 'tried too hard.' I wanted to show everyone I was one of those genius kids who excel effortlessly.
Now, I'm starting to realize there is no genius without willing effort somewhere along the way. I struggle with finding the niche where effort isn't an obstacle--just the stepping stone to excelling in something I love.
Maybe I'm trying to be someone I'm not. Maybe I'll never be independently wealthy, change someone's life... Maybe I should give up.
Or do I try harder? Do I bust my ass EVERY TIME to get an A on every assignment? Suppress my sloth? There's always a moment where I give up and say "eh, fuck it. turn it in half-finished. Stop studying." Is that the moment where I have another 20% left to go?
They say happiness lies within. I can't get anywhere without knowing that I'll be fine, okay, wonderful, as perfect as I need to be no matter what. I hate sticking my neck out because I've been burned so many times. I know in my mind that people have loved and continue to love me. I just don't feel it with my heart. I can't touch their love. Their love is just words and assurances that hang in the air. That makes stronger case for finding inner happiness on my own.
I want to be open. I want to learn and grow and get the hell out of Minnesota. I want to conquer the world, find my passions and live.
I have no idea where to start.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)