Women in the Middle East revolutions

Check out this fantastic time-lapse video of artist Jessica Sabogal's tribute to the revolution in Egypt.


I dont' consider myself an art critic, but I am a Journalism and Global Studies double major. This means that I have a bag of tools for critical analysis that I probably will never be able to use profitably...so to show my degree was worth the cash I have to dump any related epiphanies on my blog :)
But seriously, I thought a couple things about the painting were significant and helped me think of the whole "revolution" differently.

1. The subject is a woman, and that too a *de-glamorized* one.

2. Women have traditionally been invisible, marginal voices in revolutions (focus is usually on male violence), but in the revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya, women are figuring very significantly. The subject of the painting here is probably not meant to be seen as an onlooker or the subject of regime change. Though she *is* depicted in the act of reacting, the artist chose to focus on women as agents of change.

This is a long but very insightful Al Jazeera interview on the role of Arab women in the recent democratic revolutions. My professor sent it to me so I think you will find it well worth your time.


3. The style is graffiti-inspired. Seems like a pretty direct interpretation of Egypt's revolution as a bottom-up movement.

4. The painting isn't necessarily triumphant. In theAl Jazeera interview above there is a discussion about how Arab women don't share a homogeneous view on the priorities for or purpose of democratic change.The painting depicts shock, which can be either good or bad. Political revolutions are, above all, shocking and always inspire counter revolutions. I like this painting because it isn't just a snapshot in time...it signifies the whole process--both the revolution and the counter revolution.

The discipline of being

Given to act only when I have that urgent visceral compulsion to meet a deadline, I don't consider myself a hard worker. I'm laid back and don't really stress myself unless and until I REALLY need to.

As a college senior with two majors and occasionally a job, this is problematic.

I'm starting to realize that it takes a habit of discipline to accomplish anything, be it homework or a blog post. I'm letting deadlines, assignments, and other opportunities to improve and prove myself to the job market slip through my fingers. This ain't good, folks.

So I present to you, imaginary reader, my plan for task management and self discipline. Both are important and related in my quest for greatness. I don't think it's necessary to schedule every hour of the day, but proper planning can take you a long way.

1.) Prioritize

Some brilliant soul came up with this great hierarchy to prioritize tasks.
a.) Deadline is soon and importance high
b.) Importance is low but deadline is soon
c.) Importance is high but deadline is later
d.) Importance low and deadline is later

2.) Deadlines

I've also resolved to set deadlines FOR EVERYTHING. And to never miss one. Ever. In practice, this will be difficult, but life is too short to push back deadlines...because that just makes you push back other deadlines.


3.) Involving friends

This undertaking is something I cannot do alone. I will need friends to help keep me accountable. That's why I have this blog. I'm finding that I take goals more seriously when I share them with other people because the next time I see them they'll be like, "Oh, did you finally apply for/do/kick ass in____?" And it makes for an awkward situation when I say "no," especially when the other person is someone I particularly care to leave a good impression with.


I'm going to have to track my progress with homework and personal deadlines, and not every checklist will make for an interesting blog. So I'll keep a task manager for me to look at personally and share my progress maybe every couple of weeks. I know I don't have any readers here yet, but when I do, won't you please share some task management tips with me?

Yes, *rubs hands* this shall come along nicely.

Worst thing ever: Blowing off a date

Maybe some people get through life without ever causing anyone (apart from their parents) serious inconvenience or disappointment. But I think it's safe to say that most don't. I have tried very hard to be in the first category, but as a one-term president of a student group and perpetual single lady, I have "failed" countless times. I just wish there were a funny picture with a netspeak caption for each time.

Yes, put simply, I suck as much as the most disappointing person you know.

With each failure I tell myself that I can sink no further. But the very next time I'm given the chance to screw up, I do! So I fear that the world will stop giving me chances to find success in love or what have you. Especially if I've done something particularly egregious.

Remember how excited I was about online dating in my last post? Well, today I blew off one of those prospectives. This particular creature was one I was looking forward to seeing all week; he's a witty cartoonist whom I've spent considerable time creeping on the internet.
I slept through my alarm and missed our coffee date by 5 hours. I checked my phone and saw he texted me, "So, about coffee. I'm assuming you didn't mean 8 in the morning..."
I nearly died.
I'm trying to deal with the situation by leaving him super apologetic texts and an IM. I would have called him, but it was 2AM. I'll call him during the day when there's a better chance he'll answer his phone. I just hope he forgives me.

I really want to reschedule, but it's possible that he won't want to spend time on me ever again. For that I'm somewhat thankful that we don't have mutual contacts and that we never actually met before, but it doesn't override the immense regret I feel for standing him up. Gaahhh. I guess there will be another chance with another boy. But dang.

Keep moving forward, I guess.


UPDATE:
He was really nice about it and we went out again the following week! Of course, I paid for his drink :)

Online Dating and Desi Rappers

I'm doing it! Online dating with sincerity!

I'm on OkCupid.com and so far have played psychiatrist to most of my admirers. They've ranged from horny 40 year-olds to eccentric 20-somethings with lots of baggage--one had a kid and a pending divorce AND a dying mom. yikes. I'm not really finding anyone I'm interested in, though...

Ok, there was one--an adorable half-desi geologist with beautiful eyes. But he won't message me back. I'm not used to dealing with blatantly uninterested men anymore, so I take rejection a lot more harshly than I probably should. At the same time, I feel like the impetus to be more critical might help me be a better person overall. *Sigh* One date, you silly boy, one date!

Oooh, I'm REALLY digging this song by Humble the Poet. I'm not one to fan the forest fire of Punjabi pride, but the sweet hook and anti-partition message has me feeling super bad-ass and political. He seems to be rapping about how he hates being fitted with the blanket classification of "Indian" given the fact that he culturally identifies with people on both sides of the Indo-Pak border. I can get behind his frustrations with that identity also because even Punjab-centric Bollywood tends to marginalize Sikhs. Still, I hate how narrow-minded regional pride can feel.

Ever feel short of "awesome"?

I try to keep deeply personal topics off blogs, but I so yearn to connect with other people who feel this way that I'll post regardless.

My problem: I'm really really shy about saying or doing anything stupid. I'm scared to the point where I don't want to publish any of my writing and tend to shy away from criticism whenever I might get it meaningfully. I'm not super shy--I speak out in at least one of my classes once a day--but I can grow so much more if I become more open with the world. My inhibitions are what I resent the most when I look at my present situation and wonder what I should have done differently along the way to be cooler, smarter, more popular, on the better track to 'success,' whatever that is.

Perhaps this stems from not being comfortable with myself. I've struggled to believe anyone could appreciate me as a friend, girlfriend, student, anything. I didn't apply to any schools outside Minnesota because I doubted myself. I didn't try harder in school because I was afraid of looking like I 'tried too hard.' I wanted to show everyone I was one of those genius kids who excel effortlessly.

Now, I'm starting to realize there is no genius without willing effort somewhere along the way. I struggle with finding the niche where effort isn't an obstacle--just the stepping stone to excelling in something I love.

Maybe I'm trying to be someone I'm not. Maybe I'll never be independently wealthy, change someone's life... Maybe I should give up.

Or do I try harder? Do I bust my ass EVERY TIME to get an A on every assignment? Suppress my sloth? There's always a moment where I give up and say "eh, fuck it. turn it in half-finished. Stop studying." Is that the moment where I have another 20% left to go?

They say happiness lies within. I can't get anywhere without knowing that I'll be fine, okay, wonderful, as perfect as I need to be no matter what. I hate sticking my neck out because I've been burned so many times. I know in my mind that people have loved and continue to love me. I just don't feel it with my heart. I can't touch their love. Their love is just words and assurances that hang in the air. That makes stronger case for finding inner happiness on my own.

I want to be open. I want to learn and grow and get the hell out of Minnesota. I want to conquer the world, find my passions and live.

I have no idea where to start.

Adulthood

A recent New York Times article (Long Road to Adulthood is Growing Even Longer) raises the issue that our definition of "adult" is growing archaic. Though we used to mark adulthood with the traditional milestones of financial independence, marriage and having children, more "adults" are taking longer to reach financial independence and see raising a family as a "lifestyle choice." I find this interesting in light of my conversation with a friend about maturity. I was starting to see maturity as the ability to take care of other people, and adulthood as the ability to make a commitment to take care of other people.
All adulthood really is is the stage in life where you're most accountable to other people. I'm sure a few of these beta adults have adjusted their definitions--maybe they have parents they need to take care of, or have jobs with a high level of responsibility. But I think we might have a generation of people who are increasingly only accountable to themselves. If we're deferring accountability and responsibility, why must we have better institutions to help us get by as the article suggests?

Humanity

I consider this post a pretty unsound piece of writing, but it reflects the world as I see it in the most general terms. This is part of why I'm starting to lose faith in activism. We have to burn this mother down. The only way to move forward is via destruction.

Due to it's ubiquity in the news, the BP oil rig explosion and recent developments in the Bhopal Disaster set me off to thinking about doomsday scenarios and the value of mankind. I know meditations on karma are cliche, but I really have to sort this out for myself.

Karma makes sense on a large-scale level. Everything that has ever been said or done has extremely far-reaching effects, and there have been enough books and movies made (Butterfly Effect...and others) to illustrate this. But our impact on the environment--which has been summarily awful--is pinching us in the butt. Birth defects, cancer and obesity are all making our brains and/or bodies slower, simpler. Diseases are killing us off in huge numbers.

Earth pushing back. Nature's tendency for equilibrium. Homeostasis. Whatever you want to call it, you know it's happening.

Development is a fucking disease so humans (rather, we. I keep forgetting to include myself in this) have to be wiped out or slowed down. We have caused most of the shit that's killing us and the rest of the planet. We need to reduce consumption, and the only way that will ever happen is if we reduce our numbers. The only thing that is being rewarded in the dominant culture is maximization of profits.

I don't want to fight against cancer. I don't want to fight against anything that slows the 'developed' world down. This "fight" --this battle against the plagues of humanity--is not equal. The people least damaging to the world are being killed off at a greater rate than those who should be stopped. It's a disgusting but true fact.

Activists and Marxists understand that a lot is at stake, and with each political defeat of the left the world is moving faster to a globalized, capitalist disaster. Humanity will forever change the face of the earth.

Rather than work to reverse or slow down this trend, I see myself working to make amends with the world. I see myself working to humanize capitalism, help people whenever I can, and raise a family. Working for the private sector is okay if I don't compromise on my morals. Right now, the only thing I refuse to do in my corporate career is directly stand in the way of unions and their bargaining rights and be complicit with unethical decisions.

I can no longer refuse to be a cog in the machine. But I can still refuse to be an unthinking, depoliticized cog in the machine.